by Heather de Wit – Founder INSPIRING SOUTH AFRICANS
There’s been talk around soulmates for time immemorial and most often around a romantic bond or connection and perhaps sometimes an over-bandied word.
Many are yearning for and searching for their soulmate in the romantic sense and believe and hope that, in their fantasy world, when they find him or her they will be complete, happy, fulfilled, richer, better … Not true.
We all have different beliefs around this and there is no right or wrong – I believe we have many soulmates of both genders, including animals, that come into our lives for a certain time or a lifetime.
Animals have souls and therefore they too have soulmates and can be our soulmates in turn.
Soulmates ‘see’ and totally ‘get’ one another, have a strong affinity, shared values and tastes – They connect on a soul level and are completely honest with one another - They’re someone with whom you can be yourself, but this is not necessarily a perfect fit. They move in and out, as we choose to keep or discard them. They test us, teach us, help us to learn lessons, if we’re open to it and even guide us on this journey called life.
A joyous union or a dysfunctional one, not all soulmate unions are harmonious, nor are they meant to be.
A true soulmate is like a mirror, reflecting back to you the aspects within yourself that are holding you back from being your true authentic self, or you see in your soulmate aspects that you like in them and that you would like to have in yourself. They should make you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle.
A soulmate should ideally influence you to change and better yourself, in order to be the best you and should also bring out the best in you. Soulmates come in many different guises and we will all have many soulmate encounters in our lifetime, where we think this is 'it’ – only to find down the line, that good old Mr. Fantasy had lured us in and hoodwinked us yet again and it could have taken just one sentence or a certain response, that made us change our minds and realize that this wasn’t in fact ‘it’.
ELEMENTS of a SOULMATE
· An inner knowing a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion, which few words can express.
· If you believe in past lives and your partner is your soulmate, they were probably present in your past lives. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might at times even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.
· You just get each other – You often finish each other’s sentences.
· You fall in love with their flaws, their imperfections and accept one another just as you are. Soulmate relationships will have their ups and downs, but because of the strong bond, acceptance and forgiveness during the downs will be easier.
· It’s intense in both good and bad ways, but the bond always keeps it strong and accepting.
· You are always mentally in tune e.g. You may call one another at the exact same time.
· You feel protected and secure – your soulmate should not play on your insecurities.
· You cannot imagine life with them, which often takes us to the fear of losing the other.
· You look each other in the eye with your deep-seated connection.
Life Partners without the essence of the Soulmate archetype can lack the elements to mould perfectly to you. They can be a great support, provider and long-time companion, but their capacity to enrich your spirit and really connect to you on a soul level is limited.
Some Life Partners marry or stay together, because they choose to settle for a multitude of reasons - For money, companionship, prestige or other, mainly because they have a real subconscious fear of being alone.
We were all born with free will and responsible choice and can, at any time, remain in or change any relationship as we see fit
We don’t need anyone to complete us
We are complete just as we are !