Friday, 22 January 2016

Communication around things that really matter

By Heather de Wit – Founder of INSPIRING SOUTH AFRICANS.COM 


When a child meets a new friend, some questions they may ask are – ‘Do you like frogs?’ or ‘What’s your favorite game?’ or ‘Do you have a pet?’

When they tell their parents they have met a new friend, they will generally be asked – ‘What does their father do for a living?’ ‘Where do they live?’ ‘What car do they drive?’ – Rarely will they ask questions about things that really matter, such as – ‘Does your friend also love music as you do?’ or ‘Do they also love to collect butterflies as you do’ or ‘Do they also like the sound of birdsong, as you do?’


Adults, in the main, are wired to ask the ‘facts and figures’ and status questions first – around for e.g. status in society, financial position, place of work, residence, material possessions.  Adults seem to be so distracted and strung out by the surface level of life, that they are missing the deeper, more human and truly important things, that would make them worth knowing, for the values they uphold and the spirit of their being.

So how can we rephrase our opening questions, when encountering a new acquaintance? – By asking deeper, gentler questions, which address ‘the Self’ – the very fibre of their being – We can do that when we operate from a different level of consciousness – tapping into and working with the intelligent system we are all a part of, by taking a non-judgemental stance and seeing one another soul to soul – By seeing them as just another human being, with more or less the same basic wants, needs and desires as we have.


Here are some openers to consider –

  • ‘What are you yearning for?’
  • ‘Have you found your life’s Purpose and are you living it?’
  • ‘What makes you get up in the morning?’
  • ‘Have you found your special gifts and are you sharing them with the world?’
  • ‘What book changed the direction of your life and altered and formed you?’
  • ‘What was your most defining moment ever, that formed a part of who you are today?’

We are all unique – The only difference is that we all have different stories, histories and cultures, but innately we are all one, all a part of the collective whole, all with our own dreams and hopes for our lives and time here on this Earth.

When we engage differently, about things that really matter, magic happens and this changes the whole conversation – The energy of it will be entirely different and this is when we truly connect on another much deeper level and where we recognize ourselves and the Universe in one another.  It will be gentler, more meaningful and compassionate.  This will give us a clearer and bigger picture of our role as co-creators with the Universe and propel us into power and possibility. 


Most of us are operating on the Social Media and what we put out there can be seen by millions of people – Our Profiles only give viewers a vague clue as to who we really are – They rarely depict or encapsulate our essence, that is of course if we already know that?  So what we say in our content here really matters – That we are being authentic and should be reflecting who we truly are and not someone we want the world to believe we are, is paramount to manifesting meaningful connections and encounters. Drop the mask and operate from the heart, from the soul – This changes everything.

Asking questions about things that really matter, which inspire compelling and passionate responses is a beautiful thing !

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